Statutory Warning: Don’t swap your 30 year Old Bike for a brand new Kinetic Honda- By Patroz Palal

Let me admit it – it was my mistake! Never should anyone swap an old bike with a brand new Kinetic Honda. And if you did swap your old Yezdi, thinking that you have profited from the deal. You are wrong – miserably wrong!

It just happened to me few months back. I started losing fetish for my Yezdi. More so because of its rugged nature, falling parts, unfriendly gear shaft and what not. It had by the time spent more than 30 years in this universe. Served my dad and then me, like an old servant whom you come across in some of the Bungalows.

It occurred to me that it was time to bid farewell with my (Sorry ours! - Dad would have snubbed me for denouncing his ownership) Yezdi. More so because, I started seeing girls from shadi.com, and it would have been awkward to drive into their homes, with a bike that reminds yesteryears and not youth.

Prem was always in love with my Yezdi, to the extent that he often used to pick it up on some pretext. I decided to check with Prem. As they say ‘Murphy Laws’ strikes at the wrong time. Prem had just then purchased a two wheeler – a brand new Kinetic Honda. I still decided to check with him, since he always fascinated my old war machine.

The deal was simple – we swap our vehicles, use it for next 1 year. When my onsite project assignment kicks off – likely to happen after a year, I return the kinetic Honda, pick my Yezdi, ground it in my backyard and move to States! It was Win-Win situation.

Few days later, Amma showed me few of snaps of a girl. Beautiful and charming. She was a software engineer from a well to do family. From some reference, I found out that she was known as the ‘Kine Girl’ at her college. Her fascination for her Kinetic Honda earned that name. And here I am - A Software guy with a brand new kinetic Honda, decent & smart. I fascinated a ‘Kine’ – ‘Kine’ fraternity flowering out.

Thanks a Ton Prem, for this swap deal, I said to myself.

I decided to drive in on the 'Kine', on the faithful day, to her house. That was despite of Amma’s preference for a rent–a–car. The day arrived, I drove into her house on my ‘Kine’, with mom riding pillion. Peeping thru second floor of window, she saw us edging thru the narrow gate. Quite a struggle. But it helped both of us to see each other for atlest few minutes. I could see a curious face in hers.

Something went wrong, we could figure out. Her mom said she hadn’t returned from the special class …..and “Blah, Blah”. But I had seen her, my mind protested. But words didn’t corporate. The alliance fell apart, before it allied! We left home on some pretence.

Few months later – I saw Prem at the supermarket. I called him out. I apologized for not attending his wedding. I had to gone for a short visit to the client site, therefore couldn’t attend his wedding. Prem was an understanding buddy. Dindt make fuzz out of it.

Prem told me an interesting story – that my Yezdi had brought him good fortune in the form a beautiful wife. It seems his wife chose him for his ‘rugged’ looks. Actually, the Yezdi had camouflaged his butter looks and gave a ‘Ruf-an-Tough’ outlook. My wife hates Boys riding on two wheelers that have feminine looks –such as Kinetics and Scotys.- Added Prem

Thanks a Ton Govind, for this swap deal, Prem told me.

The Chit chats went smooth until that happened. Prem called up his wife who by then had finished her billing chores at the counter. “Sruthi … this is my friend Govind. He is the one with whom I swapped our Kinetic with…. I could see the same girl whom at missed meeting on the faithful day- The same curiosity.. the same charm. Both of us smiled at each other, without any hesitation. ….cause that was our second encounter .

It was drizzling outside the supermarket… the Yezdi took time to work up. I did help Prem,to kickstart ‘his’ Yezdi and Life, once again.

I pulled out a pack of Goldflake Kings, it was written: Statutory Warning: Smoking is harmful. ?? Noooo it should have written Statutory Warning: Don’t swap your 30 year Old Bike for a brand new Kinetic Honda! I heard myself mumbling the words.

The drizzling thinned to drips … slowly oozing out from fiber sheet, outside the supermarket.

I could see the blue sky …. Life is still beautiful isn’t it ? I got to go! Amma is waiting for the next alliance, post lunch !!!- Did some tell me that … or was that telepathy???

Diwali Exchange Offer Paneer for Pink Slip (P2P)- By Patroz Palal

It was the second week of October. And Shravanthi Pathak still didn’t get a hang of what went wrong. Everything was fine. Clean Slate! Still Amanda Parker, the prospective client, beat retreat– not singing off the outsourcing contract!!

Had it slipped into her kitty, Shravanthi would have had a 25 member QA team, for PICIS healthcare project. And that would have made hers the second largest team, in the Organization. Also it would have been a Divali gift for her. But nothing happened! All she got was an update from Anand Bakshi, VP –Operations, that the project didn’t come thru. Obviously, he wasn’t amused.

Bakshi not been happy is not something news to Shravanthi. She had seen him droning on similar issues many a times. But this time his body language didn’t speak of the same story, like earlier.

To give a gist of the background – Amanda Parker came for the vendor visit during the last week of September. Shravanti had done everything to get the project showcase a succcess. Pepped her team to work on weekends, made appealing decks on company’s infrastructure, project team and QA domain expertise and what not.

She even took Amanda to the company’s exquisite canteen, personally. Ideally she should have taken out Amanda for a lunch at some outside restaurant, but Shravanti thought it pragmatic to showcase the picture perfect canteen, that has sparkling floor, as a precursor to companies ‘Quality Philosophy’. An icing on the top.

Both of them found themselves a vacant table near the serving bay. They ordered bread (Roti) with Paneer butter maslasa. Amanda enjoyed the lunch, for that was her first time experience with an Indian cuisine. She enquired more about Paneer and Shravanti managed to get a fresh unpacked ‘panner’packet from the butler's deck.

Amanda read the package label. ‘Farm Cottage Cheese Paneer, Quality Never Before’. Her intruding eyes preyed on script printed below – …..When packed: 29/10/09!!!. Amanda cried out in annoyance. It’s September, and we have this stuff that we just now eat, packed in October!! Being a Quality Manager from the client side, Amanda was inconsolable for sheer breach in process. Sravanti took all her wits to pacify her and they left for the 2.00 Pm meeting, straight.

By the end of the day Amanda left for California after picking up all necessary documents. The project was slated to kick off by mid of October. And that would have been during the Divali eve.

But first week of October itself, the company came to know from onsite coordinator that the project is not taking shape. The very next hour, since Bakshi updated her , a mail flew into Sravanti’s inbox – it read from Amanda Parker.

Shravanthi,

Hope all is well at your end. And thanks for the Project showcase and you courtesy.

However at this moment, we have decided not to go ahead with your company. Well, how can we believe in your QA process when the food stuff supplied at your canteen, ratified by your company, itself has gross deviation of standards?

Regards
Amanda Parker,Program Manager
NewWest Software Labs.CA

Shravanthi was stunned, reading the email. My God what’s happening, are these people so much finicky about such things- can’t believe. Shravanthi cried out. But there was hardly any sound coming out.

Just then Bakshi called her up into the conference room. Shravanthi entered the room and saw Bakshi was busy with his mobile. Her suspecting eyes also saw something else – a Gift wrapped in fancy paper and pink slip struggling itself underneath….

Is that a Divali gift or is that a golden handshake? Is that a real pink slip? Or is that a Diwali Exchange Offer ……..Paneer for Pink Slip (P2P) types … Shravanthi kept on quipping her grey cells????.....and waited for Bakshi to complete his call.

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